Hellfeed™ Spec — Blog + Breaking Gossip System
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🔥 OVERVIEW
This document outlines the specifications for the Hellfeed™ block of the HellYea™ website. Hellfeed is not a traditional blog or news section. It functions as the "Twitter of Hell"—a satirical, fast-moving scroll of headlines, fake user updates, damnation alerts, realm-specific gossip, and ceremonial announcements.
All content is to be styled as Breaking Gossip. Never use "Breaking News" or any earthly equivalents.
🌐 URL + STRUCTURE
- Page Location: /hellfeed
- Header: "Breaking Gossip" (permanent section title)
- Subheader: Optional rotating tagline (e.g., "Real Hell. Fake News.", "Condemnation You Can Count On.")
- Filter Option: Filter by realm, category, or user (optional in Phase 2)
🖊️ CONTENT TYPES
Hellfeed entries can include:
🔔 Realm Alerts
- "Plot 421.9 just assigned in The Scorched Courts™. Offense: Vaguebooking during the apocalypse."
- "The Boiling Bureaucracy™ has filed a 2-year delay for Plot 13. Reasons: unclear."
- We reserve the right to reject or redact any content we believe violates these terms.
🤔 User Posts (Fake Handles)
- @KarenJustice6969: "My HOA fined me $30 for bad vibes and I got condemned to Hell? Where's my appeal?"
- @DamnationUpdates: "Congrats to LISA for condemning her ex and donating $45 to Damn Good Deeds™. Petty and powerful."
💼 Infernal Admin Notices
- "All glitter officially banned by order of King Natas™. Again."
- "Plot prices rise during Mercury retrograde. You were warned."
📈 Donation Milestones
- "$6,660 raised in The Howling Winds of Whines™. That’s 132 whiners processed."
📷 Memes + Imagery
- Visual satire of damnation, bureaucracy, or recent deeds
- Optional buttons: Laugh 😆, Damn ☠️, Appeal ✉️ (non-functional)
- Fake metrics beneath post:
- 🔥 666 people approved this damnation
- 🪦 12 filed appeals. All denied.
⚖️ FUNCTIONALITY
- Auto-feed posts Pull from recent plot assignments, donation events, and scripted updates
- Fake usernames Satirical social-style handles layered over actual registry activity
- Realm filters (Optional) Allow users to view gossip by realm
- Share options Light sharing (e.g., copy link, fake tweet), no user accounts or replies
- CTA embedded Every 6–8 posts include a call to action: “Condemn Someone” or “Buy a Plot”
- Reaction counters 🔥 “Damn Count” + 🪦 “Appeals Filed” with scripted/fake tallies
🎨 DESIGN NOTES
🔁 TICKER INTEGRATION
- A slow-scrolling horizontal ticker appears at the top of the homepage or global layout
- Ticker content is pulled from the most recent or tagged entries in /hellfeed
- Includes short-form headlines styled as Breaking Gossip
- Examples:
- “BREAKING GOSSIP: Plot 421.9 assigned in The Scorched Courts™ for vaguebooking.”
- “🔥 666 people approved Jenny’s condemnation of ‘My Ex’s Crypto Scheme.’”
- “🪦 12 appeals filed. All denied.”
- Optional: clicking the ticker can scroll to or link into /hellfeed
- Admin override/pinning allowed for featured posts or promotions
- Hellish scroll feel; parchment or scorched paper textures
- Header: Breaking Gossip in bold, attention-grabbing font
- Post formats: 1–2 sentence max, meme-style or alert-style
- Spacing: Like a feed, not a blog (no comment threads)
- Optional ticker: "Latest Condemnations" as slow-scrolling banner
- Reactions (🔥, 🪦) are visual only — non-functional and scripted for engagement
